"Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend, nor services to do, till you require."
-- William Shakespeare
I have been thinking about how Sub I am, and how far and what id do. Wether I want to be 24/7 or just a role playing thing.
This :
So you want to be a slave: The Realities
by miria hunter
I decided to write this article because I have seen so many submissives come into the lifestyle expecting everything to be dream-like and perfect. I don't wish to ruin anyone's dreams, or turn them from the activity, but what I wish to do is to explain how things really are. Being a slave can be, and is for me, a wonderful life. It's everything I wanted it to be. It is also more than I ever expected, and had someone explained the realities to me prior to my decision, it would have made my transition so much easier. For the purpose of this article, I am addressing issues related to being a 24/7 slave. These comments are from my viewpoint, which is that of a female slave with a male Master. By no means do I wish to exclude Dommes or male slaves. For them, I cannot comment from personal experience. This is just my view from my own real-time experience.
First, there are a few things you need to discover for and about yourself. Do you wish to be in this type relationship 24/7? Perhaps you only wish to be in it during the scenes. Maybe you want to role-play only during certain times. There are many ways this activity can be done, but you have to figure out what is right for you.
Second, you need to learn to be honest with yourself. Figure out what you will and will not do, and what is a "maybe." Search inside yourself for what you really want, and when you find it, be honest to anyone you talk to. Don't agree to something long-term that you know you will not be able accomplish. Ask yourself some hard questions. The rest of this article will give you aspects to contemplate so you can base your decisions on reality, and not someone else's dreams of how it should be.
Are you prepared to surrender 100% control of your life to someone else? 24/7 slaves do this. Role-playing would mean entering into this relationship only for the time agreed upon that the Master would have the total control. Once the scene is over, everything returns to normal.
Do you enjoy country music? Maybe you love Rock and Roll. Consider this. The Master, who's collar you will eventually wear, may only like classical or another type of music that you don't enjoy. Are you prepared to give up those selections and only listen to His music? This type sacrifice can apply to many other things you currently enjoy. For myself, I love old love songs of any type, and my Master is into Hard Rock. Because of His preferences, I rarely get to listen to my songs. But, when I am a good girl, at times, He does permit me to listen to my choice of music, as long as I get my assigned tasks and chores done. Note, I said, "permitted to." Something as simple as listening to the radio is a reward for me. It is not a given that you will be permitted to enjoy even this little pleasure whenever you wish. These limitations can apply to many areas of your life such as TV, choices of food or friends, just about anywhere anything!
Is there a certain style of clothes you love? Certain colors and scents you wouldn't be caught without? If your Master doesn't approve of them, you may be wearing a totally different style with colors you never would have dreamed of. He may lay your clothes out for you every morning. Are you prepared to abide happily by His choices? If He asked you to wear something very skimpy to someplace simple like the grocery store, could you do this without hesitation? I am lucky in the fact that my Master lets me chose my own clothes most of the time. But at anytime, should He decide that He wants me to wear something else, I am to change immediately. Trust me, He does exercise this right. I have learned to always ask Him what He would like me to wear if we are going someplace special.
Are you prepared to change your hairstyle, length, or color to please your Master? All of these will belong to Him once you accept your collar as will everything else that once belonged to you. You will no longer own anything. From the time you take His collar, everything will be His. It will no longer be "your" car or "your" clothes, but "His," on loan to you as He sees fit. If He should so choose, you will not be permitted to wear clothes at all. This will be His choice, not yours. Remember, you will have given up all rights to make these choices for yourself.
You have a favorite chair, or a certain way you like to sit or walk?> Your Master will decide whether you sit on furniture or on the floor. He will have the say if you are to cross your legs, or sit with them spread wide-open. You will have to ask permission to even climb into bed, or sit on a chair. Most slaves are allowed a cushion on the floor that they do not need permission to sit upon, but very little else. You will even need permission to eat at the table with your Master.
It's been a long hard day at work. You get home and want nothing more than to relax in a tub and go to bed early. Well, you won't be able to. Being tired, ill, or just in a bad mood does not excuse you from your required tasks. You are still required to do them: prepare His meal, and go to bed when He tells you to. Retiring for bed usually occurs at a set time, even if you are not ready to go. There will not be an "I am too tired" or "I don't feel well": nothing of the kind. Unless your Master has excused you from your tasks and chores, you will remain responsible for making sure His needs and wants are filled: no matter what. It is your job to inform your Master of your physical health status. One of your main jobs will be to take care of and protect His possessions, you being the most prized He owns. As long as you let your Master know how you are feeling, He will make sure that your tasks will be appropriate to your capabilities.
Many come into this lifestyle looking to be used sexually, to service their Master at His whim. They never consider other aspects. The main part of being a slave is to be of service to your Master, and not to be serviced for yourself. However, being readily available to Him at ALL times is also an unspoken expectation. The old excuse "not tonight dear, I have a headache" doesn't work in a D/s relationship. In order to provide Him pleasure, you must also express to Him the pleasure of the moment for you as well. NEVER make your Master feel this is a chore to you: something you would rather not do, but will only because you have to. If your Master tells you to do something, it will not be up to you to question Him. You will be required to respond with no questions asked. At a later time (if this is permitted in your relationship), you may ask Him for permission to speak on an equal level. If He gives permission, this will be your opportunity to ask your questions. However, it is important to ask in a way so as not to question His authority, but at the same time to satisfy your curiosity
Do you feel being a slave is to be coerced: forced into servitude? Do you think you couldn't do this unless you were? Then think again. Slaves enter into this relationship of their own free will. This is not the day of forced slavery; it is a matter of choice. YOURS! You are the one who will decide to give over your power to your Master. You will be doing this, not because you are forced to obey, but because you need to. Yes, during the course of your relationship there will be times you will be forced to do something, but it will never be something that goes against who you are. Your Master may feel obeying this command will help you to grow into the best person you can be, or will help you break out of an inhibition you have.
How is your temper? Are you quick to fly off-of-the-handle when you are upset? Or are you laid back, accepting anything and everything, and then go off to sulk because your feelings were hurt? A Master does not wish to have a doormat for a slave nor does He desire to be told how things should be. Learning when and how to say things will become very important in your relationship. If you do not tell your Master when something is bothering you, then you have no right whatsoever to become upset. However wonderful and omnipotent He may seem, He is not a mind reader: unless you tell Him, He won't know. The key, as I said a moment ago, is in how you tell Him.
Your self-discipline is very important in this relationship. Do you tend to put things off until the last possible moment? You won't be able to do this when you are owned. There will be chores and tasks your Master will assign that He expects to be done in a timely fashion set by Him, not by you. Your Master's wants and needs will be put before your own. Self-discipline is similar to self-control. Your ability to follow through and complete assignments made by your Master will be very important. As a slave, you will need to be able to control your own actions well enough to be able to remain within the boundaries set for you by Him. If He says you can't do something, simply, you can't. Doing it anyway and not telling Him doesn't make it right. In the case of a Master/slave relationship, what he doesn't know CAN hurt you, as well as the relationship you have worked so hard to build. Even a simple "white lie" can destroy the trust so necessary to really establish this type relationship.
As to wants and needs of your own: do you know the difference between the two? If not, I strongly recommend you figure them out before entering into servitude. Sometimes the two are hard to distinguish, but it will become important that you do so. Your Master will ensure all your "needs" are taken care of, but the "wants" will be His to allow or not, as He sees fit. Needs are the necessities of life that are required in order for us to remain mentally and physically healthy. They allow us to grow emotionally and spiritually. If you can survive without something, then it is a want. Wants are usually given as a reward for good behavior.
In order to be a slave, there will be many things you have to learn to accept within yourself and adapt to. Your primary purpose in life will be to see to your Master's pleasure (both mentally and physically) in any manner He should desire. In order to do this, you will have to learn your Master well. Find out what pleases and displeases Him. By this, I do not mean just sexually. You will learn that sex is but a small part of your relationship. Learn to cater to His every need and desire without being pushy. His needs and desires will encompass intellectual stimulation, physical pleasure, emotional support, and many other things unique to Him. Remember - physical does not equal sexual. Physical pleasure may include, but are not limited to, touch, favorite foods, textures, clothing, and colors for examples. It will be your job to make sure His physical pleasures are met in every way. Think of the five senses, and make His environment pleasing to all of them. Never forget - the most pleasing thing in His environment should be you.
As His slave, it will be up to you to figure out what pleases your Master. He should not have to ask constantly for the basic things - you should have learned them. If His glass is empty, quietly and unobtrusively refill it. Remember, you are doing this for His pleasure not your own. Just because He does not notice and praise you doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. Look at His smile. Is He comfortable? If He looks happy and content, then you have done well, and should bask in His content. Always remember that you do this for Him and not for your own satisfaction. Your happiness should come from serving Him and His being happy.
As I said in the beginning of this article, I am not trying to scare you away from the world of D/s. My goal is to make sure that, when you enter this lifestyle, you do so with your eyes wide open, fully knowing what to expect. The road will not be an easy one. You will have to re-learn much of what you once took for granted: things you just did without thinking, like simply sitting in a chair. These are habits we never even think about anymore. That is, until we find a Master.
Everything else you learned before reading this article is probably true. Being a slave is a wonderful life: one where you are taken care of. Most decisions are out of your hands and in those of your Master. But, many choices will still be left up to you. Most Masters want a slave who is smart, has a sense of humor, and a will of their own. There is no pleasure in owning a doormat that just sits or is only walked upon. He would become bored very fast in that type of relationship. Being your self is the best advice I was given, and I have found this to be absolutely true for me.
You will find being a slave everything you dreamed of and so much more if you enter this life knowing more of what to expect. If you are meant to be in the lifestyle, you will find that where you once only walked through life, you will now be gliding on air. Parts of you that never were complete will become whole. In relinquishing control, I have found freedom: freedom to find and be the person I am inside.
It is my hope that, after reading this article, you will be able to make a more informed choice about entering this lifestyle. Never forget that one of the most important requirements for existing in this lifestyle is honesty, be honest with yourself first. However, you will find that this is not as easy as it sounds. Once you learn to do this, you will find yourself at peace and able to enter your servitude with clearer mind, knowing where you are and where you want to be. When you accept your Master's collar, you give up all your rights. Your friends, your life - nothing will remain yours. Being a slave means giving up so much more than you would if you were only being submissive. You give up all rights in your life. Slave isn't just a word; it's a way of life, a defined action. Be well, my friend, and I hope you enjoy this lifestyle as much as I have come to love being in it.
Reproduced by kind permission of ©Ricks's miria (miria_hunter@softhome.net)
©tiana 2000-2005
And this :
The Collar
by forestnymph~2000
A topic very dear to my heart and one, which evokes very strong sentiments in me, is the topic of collars. A collar in BDSM symbolizes a commitment that has often been compared to a wedding ring. There are other outward expressions of the bond between a master and his/her sub/slave, which include tattooing, piercing, and or branding. Because of where my 'training' in the lifestyle comes from I am of the school that the sub asks a dom for his collar. In asking for the collar the sub offers her trust, respect, loyalty, and obedience to the dom who then becomes her master. Conversely, the dom in giving his collar to a sub, takes the responsibility of taking care of the sub as his sub. It is a commitment to protect, cherish and love that sub. From a style point of view there are different designs of collars. I have heard it said that those collars, which are made with no clasp to, signify the never-ending love of the relationship. Other collars have a ring to attach a leash and a place for an engraved tag or pendant to show ownership. Physically a collar can be very elaborate or very simple. But in the end that's not what matters the most, it's the underlying meaning of the collar, and the relationship that it stands for. The collar is to be worn in the presence of the Dominant at all times. When apart, all the submissive needs to do is touch it to be reminded of the bond they share. Each collaring is a unique symbol of love, respect and a bond between two people who care greatly for each other. Taking, asking for a collar is not a light thing, and those who consider themselves serious followers of the d/s lifestyle take it as a very serious thing. . It is not a thing to be rushed into with casual disregard for the feelings of the other upon whom you have placed it or accepted it from. It is not a thing to be taken one day and then casually discarded a week or two later, no more than a wedding ring should be. A further comment on the easy and convenient analogy of a collar and a wedding ring: A collar around the neck is an outward symbol of ownership and commitment just like a wedding ring signifies to all that the person wearing it is "taken". In some instances I believe the similarity ends there. A wedding ring binds two people in a court of law, but doesn't necessarily mean anything more. Not every marriage is merely a formality by any stretch of the imagination, but we've all seen loveless marriages of convenience or marriages filled with neglect and abuse to illustrate the point. However because of the nature of bdsm I feel the collar is much stronger a bond between the two individuals; and should reflect the nature of that relationship. It is a symbol of the full and entire honesty mutual respect mutual pleasure pride and dignity strong character love and affection The online community on the whole has made a mockery of the lifestyle and the significance of the collar. Something, which makes me, see red. And if I am aware of such I do and will speak out on it in chatrooms. Once accepted, a collar should be considered forever and unless the day comes when the sub decides to be rid of it or the Master takes it back. Sad but it happens, reality is full of unpredictability. The collar should be worn and honored at all times. I have seen too many dom/mes and subs change collars with a frequency equaling the frequency of me changing my panties. In addition, I have seen where a collared sub may come into the chatroom or another with an alternate nick, hence, without the collar, so that they may "play" around without bringing criticism down upon themselves or their master knowing of it. To me this is no different than a married man or woman who would leave their wedding band at home and go out for the evening, portraying themselves as available when they may very well not be. No different is it as well for a dom/me who, when his or her collared sub is offline, engages in activities that would be upsetting to the sub were he or she to know of it. Any such activity should be well discussed and any agreements resolved well before the collaring takes place. Anything less is abuse of a sacred trust. And without trust, you have nothing Trust...... such an interesting word, and concept, that is so often taken for granted. However, it should be viewed as a priceless and rare attribute... a gift of sorts (though it is earned); no amount of money bearing any comparison to such value. Do not take it lightly, for once damaged, one rarely ever gets it back in the same condition as before, if ever There has fairly recently been an expansion on the 'basic' collar: Collar of consideration
Training collar Formal collarSlave collar Actual collaring ceremonies are numerous in form, and are as unique as each couple who orchestrates the event. Usually a formal collaring ceremony takes place in the presence of friends, words/vows/promises are exchanged between the dom and the sub, there may be formalized d/s exchange between the couple. There are numerous descriptions of such ceremonies on the net.
Both have made me think and wonder if this is what I want. *bites lip* I believe that it maybe....
Comments please <3
This is me as a kitty. ^_^ it was taken about 2 weeks ago. Someone from my past started talking to me again. Well it messed with my head alittle so i decided to draw a cat face on my face with eye linner. The Orange is just lighting. Its only pure chance that I turned out looking like a tiger lol.
Isn't he lovely <3>