Seb keeps trying to talk to me.

Happy.. I think

Im so tired lol... been spending most of the night talking with Alex.. normally till about 5am >_<

I really like him and i know he likes me too.. He will be coming over soon and I cant wait. He is so sweet... he understands that im hurtting and doesnt want to push anything he just wants to look after and care for me.

I dont remember when i have been this happy without working for it. Alex just cares about me I dont have to work for it.. or ask him to talk to me or make time for me... he just wants to be around me.. I cant explaine how good that feels.

he said this "when im not taking to you i try and convince my self that your just a girl i know just some one i talk too... but the second we talk im on the edge of my seat waiting for your every word"

im so happy atm... its lovely.. Im sorting my head out and my house is almost sorted.. I have work tomorrow and I got paid today. I dont really know what could be better =D

I'm going to go and clean my flat now as its something that i have started to really enjoy doing.

Im going to write up a plan as well so that I have set things to do each day. I think that having alittle bit of stablilty in my life would be a really good thing ^_^

May up date again later.

Roo x

hehe

I know i havent posted for a while but alot has been happening to me !! I have a new job!!!
I have a new computer.. i have a new hair cut! i have a new life and im happy.. i have Alex to thank for that he has been so lovely.. well all my friends have looked after me alot. Love you all very much <3

Just heard this song and LOL it made me realise how glad i am that i have walked away.

KELLY CLARKSON LYRICS

"Walk Away"
But the truth is
That it's cupid, baby
Lovin' you has made me this way
So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger

Oh yeah
You need to know this situation's getting old
And now the more you talk
The less I can take, oh

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why are you still standin' here?
Hey, hey, hey, heyJ
ust walk away
Just walk away
Just walk away

Waited here for you
Like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed (showed)?
I gave you everything
And never asked for anything
And look at me
I'm all alone (alone)
So, before you start defendin'
Baby, stop all your pretendin'
I know you know I know
So what's the point in being slow
Let's get the show on the road today Hey



YAY GO ME!! I FEEL GREAT!! IM FREE!!!! ^_^

4 days..

Its four days until valentines day...

Im quite looking forward to it I think. I dont expect anything at all tho lol.

Last night i spent 3 hours crying, and i realised that.. Seb stoped loving me along time ago if he ever did.

I realised that i was so so SO much better than how i have been treated for the last 2 years.. Yea sure it was great. But he isnt what i need. or now. want.

Why would i want someone that treats me badly?
Why would I want someone that pushes me away?
Do I need someone that if i just ask for help or say i want to talk to them walks away from me?
Do I really need or want someone I cant realy on?
Someone who says they will be there but wont atually be there for me?
I dont want someone that is going to lie to me anymore.

So im better of not having a child as a boyfriend. I was deluded and misslead.

And to be honest.. Even tho i love him compleatly.. and gave him everything..

I wish i had, had the courage to walk away the first time people warned me that it was going to hurt.

heart break

i just called seb...i have been hurtting alot lately and i just wanted to hear him. I told him I loved him and well were back to the "i know"

i asked if he loves me and he said that was what he was trying to find that out again.... I cried... it seems to be all I do anymore.