4 days..

Its four days until valentines day...

Im quite looking forward to it I think. I dont expect anything at all tho lol.

Last night i spent 3 hours crying, and i realised that.. Seb stoped loving me along time ago if he ever did.

I realised that i was so so SO much better than how i have been treated for the last 2 years.. Yea sure it was great. But he isnt what i need. or now. want.

Why would i want someone that treats me badly?
Why would I want someone that pushes me away?
Do I need someone that if i just ask for help or say i want to talk to them walks away from me?
Do I really need or want someone I cant realy on?
Someone who says they will be there but wont atually be there for me?
I dont want someone that is going to lie to me anymore.

So im better of not having a child as a boyfriend. I was deluded and misslead.

And to be honest.. Even tho i love him compleatly.. and gave him everything..

I wish i had, had the courage to walk away the first time people warned me that it was going to hurt.