well. Isabelle is be coming more promiment within my personaltly. Its what i wanted. But im finding it odd that there are things that i am doing that i just dont care about anymore.
i may write more another time. or may not even dwell on what i have been doing anymore. we shall see.
Im losing weight and im LOVING the compliment that i am getting. Plus im up for a premotion at work :O
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Bleh
Why am I always the Friend and nothing more? Bob has a date with a girl on sat. Going for dinner or some such.
He said that she isnt the prettyest girl but she is intresting. So it seems im well and truely in that friends list. I bet she is thin tho.
Im pretty and i have a really good personalty. Even bobs mum said that to me today. but thats all ignored just cus im overweight.
well im feeling great can you tell. So should i just go up to him and point out how shallow he is being or just curl up and die. We gett on so well. and he shows he cares by just saying little things. he even waved me over today when i walked past to get some dinner.
i jsut want to scream and shout at him and hit him so damn hard. im going back to working out then shower.
He said that she isnt the prettyest girl but she is intresting. So it seems im well and truely in that friends list. I bet she is thin tho.
Im pretty and i have a really good personalty. Even bobs mum said that to me today. but thats all ignored just cus im overweight.
well im feeling great can you tell. So should i just go up to him and point out how shallow he is being or just curl up and die. We gett on so well. and he shows he cares by just saying little things. he even waved me over today when i walked past to get some dinner.
i jsut want to scream and shout at him and hit him so damn hard. im going back to working out then shower.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Tired, and days of work
Well first of all its Dawns birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWN!!! <333 Will see you in a few hours.
Dawn... wow we have been thought alot together. I'm proud to call you friend, and even more so to call you Sister. I love you so much I wish that I could do as much as you have done for me. I just want you to know that when ever you need me i'll be there for you. I wish i could put in to words how much you meen to me. your family and i care alot about you. dont eat to much sweet and sour tonight :P love you lots Roo xx
Im heading to wrexham tonight, so that will be good. i havent seen my brother in about 3 weeks let alone anyone else that is over there.
Im feeling lonely atm. Not cus i dont have peoplee that care about me, just for the fact that im just not connecting with them. Im locking my self away again. I dont want to be hurt.
Talking of hurt. I talked to Seb a few days ago. I've missed talking to him. But this time i didnt feel anything towards him.
Bobs just pissing me off "he doesnt know why" he kissed me back, so im walking away from that one.
Rich... im happy with Rich. I just wish he was nearer. sure its ok to call him when ever i want but i want to be able to hug him and kiss him when ever i want. I miss him alot.
Going to go pack for brothers now. Im tired ^_^
Dawn... wow we have been thought alot together. I'm proud to call you friend, and even more so to call you Sister. I love you so much I wish that I could do as much as you have done for me. I just want you to know that when ever you need me i'll be there for you. I wish i could put in to words how much you meen to me. your family and i care alot about you. dont eat to much sweet and sour tonight :P love you lots Roo xx
Im heading to wrexham tonight, so that will be good. i havent seen my brother in about 3 weeks let alone anyone else that is over there.
Im feeling lonely atm. Not cus i dont have peoplee that care about me, just for the fact that im just not connecting with them. Im locking my self away again. I dont want to be hurt.
Talking of hurt. I talked to Seb a few days ago. I've missed talking to him. But this time i didnt feel anything towards him.
Bobs just pissing me off "he doesnt know why" he kissed me back, so im walking away from that one.
Rich... im happy with Rich. I just wish he was nearer. sure its ok to call him when ever i want but i want to be able to hug him and kiss him when ever i want. I miss him alot.
Going to go pack for brothers now. Im tired ^_^
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
To much time to think at work...
Well alot has happend in the last 14 days since i last updated lol. Short day to day update me thinks.
Since the 30th april i had been in a coffee shop called cafe neros, the day was lovely i had a good book, looked good and damn there was a good view.
So
Monday 30th - 2 hours at Cafe Nero's drinking and reading, writing alot in my written journal, casually watching coffee guy.
Tusday 1st May - Mum comes over and we go to Cafe Neros much watching of coffee guy and talking to Mum and catching up.
Wednesday 2nd - Go and see if number 6 wants to go for a coffee, once again back at Cafe Nero's. I suspect he thinks im stalking him LOL.
Wed- night, i am convinced by Drummer and Nate (two guy mates) that I should give cute coffee guy my number in the form of a note... I write the note that night.
Thursday 3rd - I am in the coffee shop for 10.30am ish. he isnt there!! *panic!!* I text Drummer and he tells me to chill and to drink my coffee and that I cant leave unless I give this guy my number. So I wait. Finally someone comes and clears my table and we get talking. She is nice, she watchs my eyes as coffee guy walks past and asks if I like him. I say yes and she asks if id like to talk to him. I blush red and ask her to give him the note and all but run from the shop with a HUGE grin on my face.
Around 4pm he texts me, saying that it was nice but he wasn't looking for a realtionship and that he is called Bob, i text him back and point out that I havent said that I want a realtionship. We agree to meet up that night at my house. I panic and realises I have to clean. He comes over at around 6.30pm we have tea and talk ALOT.
He leaves around 8pm, and we text most of Friday and Sat, I leave work half way thought on Sat cus I have once again over worked my self (must remember to rest)
Sunday 6th - were texting I ask him to only do things if he wants to do them not because he thinks he has too (learnt from Alex) I'm not very well at this point and i get woken up by a bangging on my window. Bob's standing there with a grin, he walks in and sits me on the sofa and makes us both a cup of tea. (Im in shock that he has come back) we talk again and he has to go so I say that he can come back later if he wants as i have called in sick. He comes back around 10pm but he is texting a friend and some thing comes up and he seems really upset that he cant stay "I wanted to make time for you"
He leaves and we hug. We keep texting constantly. Im working alot and so is he.
He adds me to his msn on the 9th may and his mum talks to me on it (she and all the family use it) She is a REALLY nice lady and we talk alittle. Bob comes home and says he is going out and may come over. Not for sure but he may.
So im on edge all night, he doesnt turn up and im sat on msn around 11.30 and he comes online
"and i didnt come round thought it may b bit late n didnt wanna b ungenlemanly"
So i tell him to come over if he wants.
He gets here within about 10 min. He stays till 4am. we just talk and watch movies. AND HUG for the first time!!
I told him he had crap hugs so we hug again :P
Thursday I have off college cus well... I cant stand going there anymore, I hate it. Bob and I talk on msn around 3.30pm and he invites me to his for a cuppa! So I go, im there till about 8pm, i got invited to stay for dinner by his mum and played Bob at darts. I had the most wonderful dinner my fave Mac and cheese :D
So I have to work Friday the 18th - Bob and his mum and some of there friends come in to the pub around about 8.30 and i have my brake till 9pm and Viv (mum) asks me to come talk to them for my brake so i do :o
Me and Bob play fight alittle before I have to go back to work. Were texting thought out work and I close the bar at 1am, he says he is in a club and that i should come join them. So i say i will and that id text him when i have finished work. I text him at 2.30am saying im done and he says that he is at home and that i should come see him...
I go and see him and end up stopping the night were in his bed, talking and hugging alot. He keeps pouting in the cute way that he does it and i tell him that if he keeps doing it i'll bite it. So he pouts and i bite his lower lip. Then he doesnt shut up he talks constantly, and all this time we are but inchs away from each other. We laugh and talk and play fight and he pushes me outa bed (its a low bed) so I push him out then he pushes me out and we laugh, I say something that makes him pout again and i warn him once more, so he keeps pouting so I think what the hell,
and I kiss him... He kisses me back... and pulls me close.. holy fuck my heart is going fast. We kiss softly for a few seconds and I (YES ME) i pull back and say no...
(yes i know WTF I LIKE THIS BOI) We end up sleeping in each others arms for a few hours before he has to get up for work. We both wake up and I end up talking witht he brothers alot Bob leaves for work and I leave about an hour after.
I text him saying are we just mates cus last night confused me... well alot
He texts back saying.. "sorry just mates"
well i all but go and slap him. No one comes over at midnight and everything else he did in the last week unless he likes the other person. So im left very confused but I have him as a very good friend. We sorted things out in text and he came over today cus i just wanted to see him.
So, here I am. Not in love with this guy. cus there is no way in hell im saying that to him. The word gets thrown around way to much.
I just want him happy, I adore being around him, he makes me happy. we laugh and have so much fun together.
So the mind state im in atm is that Im gonna give up guys for a while. Sure still be friends with them BUT nothing more than hugs. I need to sort my head out. I want to be happy with my self ^_^
SO watch out world Im gonna change!!
Oh and i've lost a stone and I really like my job!!
its 2.30am and im shattered and my feet hurt. Going to bed now.
Since the 30th april i had been in a coffee shop called cafe neros, the day was lovely i had a good book, looked good and damn there was a good view.
So
Monday 30th - 2 hours at Cafe Nero's drinking and reading, writing alot in my written journal, casually watching coffee guy.
Tusday 1st May - Mum comes over and we go to Cafe Neros much watching of coffee guy and talking to Mum and catching up.
Wednesday 2nd - Go and see if number 6 wants to go for a coffee, once again back at Cafe Nero's. I suspect he thinks im stalking him LOL.
Wed- night, i am convinced by Drummer and Nate (two guy mates) that I should give cute coffee guy my number in the form of a note... I write the note that night.
Thursday 3rd - I am in the coffee shop for 10.30am ish. he isnt there!! *panic!!* I text Drummer and he tells me to chill and to drink my coffee and that I cant leave unless I give this guy my number. So I wait. Finally someone comes and clears my table and we get talking. She is nice, she watchs my eyes as coffee guy walks past and asks if I like him. I say yes and she asks if id like to talk to him. I blush red and ask her to give him the note and all but run from the shop with a HUGE grin on my face.
Around 4pm he texts me, saying that it was nice but he wasn't looking for a realtionship and that he is called Bob, i text him back and point out that I havent said that I want a realtionship. We agree to meet up that night at my house. I panic and realises I have to clean. He comes over at around 6.30pm we have tea and talk ALOT.
He leaves around 8pm, and we text most of Friday and Sat, I leave work half way thought on Sat cus I have once again over worked my self (must remember to rest)
Sunday 6th - were texting I ask him to only do things if he wants to do them not because he thinks he has too (learnt from Alex) I'm not very well at this point and i get woken up by a bangging on my window. Bob's standing there with a grin, he walks in and sits me on the sofa and makes us both a cup of tea. (Im in shock that he has come back) we talk again and he has to go so I say that he can come back later if he wants as i have called in sick. He comes back around 10pm but he is texting a friend and some thing comes up and he seems really upset that he cant stay "I wanted to make time for you"
He leaves and we hug. We keep texting constantly. Im working alot and so is he.
He adds me to his msn on the 9th may and his mum talks to me on it (she and all the family use it) She is a REALLY nice lady and we talk alittle. Bob comes home and says he is going out and may come over. Not for sure but he may.
So im on edge all night, he doesnt turn up and im sat on msn around 11.30 and he comes online
"and i didnt come round thought it may b bit late n didnt wanna b ungenlemanly"
So i tell him to come over if he wants.
He gets here within about 10 min. He stays till 4am. we just talk and watch movies. AND HUG for the first time!!
I told him he had crap hugs so we hug again :P
Thursday I have off college cus well... I cant stand going there anymore, I hate it. Bob and I talk on msn around 3.30pm and he invites me to his for a cuppa! So I go, im there till about 8pm, i got invited to stay for dinner by his mum and played Bob at darts. I had the most wonderful dinner my fave Mac and cheese :D
So I have to work Friday the 18th - Bob and his mum and some of there friends come in to the pub around about 8.30 and i have my brake till 9pm and Viv (mum) asks me to come talk to them for my brake so i do :o
Me and Bob play fight alittle before I have to go back to work. Were texting thought out work and I close the bar at 1am, he says he is in a club and that i should come join them. So i say i will and that id text him when i have finished work. I text him at 2.30am saying im done and he says that he is at home and that i should come see him...
I go and see him and end up stopping the night were in his bed, talking and hugging alot. He keeps pouting in the cute way that he does it and i tell him that if he keeps doing it i'll bite it. So he pouts and i bite his lower lip. Then he doesnt shut up he talks constantly, and all this time we are but inchs away from each other. We laugh and talk and play fight and he pushes me outa bed (its a low bed) so I push him out then he pushes me out and we laugh, I say something that makes him pout again and i warn him once more, so he keeps pouting so I think what the hell,
and I kiss him... He kisses me back... and pulls me close.. holy fuck my heart is going fast. We kiss softly for a few seconds and I (YES ME) i pull back and say no...
(yes i know WTF I LIKE THIS BOI) We end up sleeping in each others arms for a few hours before he has to get up for work. We both wake up and I end up talking witht he brothers alot Bob leaves for work and I leave about an hour after.
I text him saying are we just mates cus last night confused me... well alot
He texts back saying.. "sorry just mates"
well i all but go and slap him. No one comes over at midnight and everything else he did in the last week unless he likes the other person. So im left very confused but I have him as a very good friend. We sorted things out in text and he came over today cus i just wanted to see him.
So, here I am. Not in love with this guy. cus there is no way in hell im saying that to him. The word gets thrown around way to much.
I just want him happy, I adore being around him, he makes me happy. we laugh and have so much fun together.
So the mind state im in atm is that Im gonna give up guys for a while. Sure still be friends with them BUT nothing more than hugs. I need to sort my head out. I want to be happy with my self ^_^
SO watch out world Im gonna change!!
Oh and i've lost a stone and I really like my job!!
its 2.30am and im shattered and my feet hurt. Going to bed now.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
short up date:
short up date:
broke up with rich (ouch)
got a drink thrown over m for doing my job (meh)
cant sleep (feel too alone)
broke up with rich (ouch)
got a drink thrown over m for doing my job (meh)
cant sleep (feel too alone)
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