Depressing

I woke up when I didn't want too. As in, I never wanted to wake up again when I went to sleep last night.

I'm losing it. Even left Richard. One of the few people that is still standing by me and telling me they love me.

Last night I dreamed I cut my wrists and text Richard and Bob as I was laying in a pool of my own blood. Not sure how I managed to text with cut wrists but It was a dream. Bob texted my sister who told my mum and dad.

Next I was in a hospital ward waking up then screaming that I hated my pearents and that I didnt want anyone near me and that they should all get out. Laying on my side I cried then someone got in to bed with me and just hugged me. It was Rich. Not saying anything just holding me as i sobed my heart out. He just heald me until I woke up.

I called Rich when I woke up and I explained that I wasnt very stable anymore and he told me that he knew I wasnt very well and is worried for me. He very cutely called me a nut case and told me off for eating to much fruit and nut chocolate. He made me smile and that made me feel better.

I still dont want to wake up when I go to sleep. But I know one person loves me.