College

Well im in college atm. Tired but proud of myself that i managed to drag my self out of my house and not pass out.

Rich told me he "likes" someone else at his school. Now ofc this has floored me. but i am being logical and I have to step back as I am just a girl on the internet and thats it. Sure I have feelings for him big ones. But we havent met yet even tho i am doing my best too.

I finish college in 2 weeks and im thinking of going down to Southend-on-sea to see him. It wont cost me much (yes im already looking at costs and things) and stopping in a bed and breakfast for 2 nights would only cost £40 (£20 a night) and the bus/coach thing down would be arouind £40's as well sooo all in all thats going to be around £100. Not sure if i have that spare atm. but i need to start living within my means. when i get home later im really going to sit down and try and figure out my moneys and such. I know damn well I have enough for everything I just need to start sorting it out properly.

I wonder if he will want me to come over, if he will like me still when i get there.. I have so many questions and doubts.

I'm also worried about what will happen today at his school when he tells this girl he likes her. She is there and around him much MUCH more than I am. She could make him happy and give him hugs and kisses where i cant. I guess im just insucure and worrieing over nothing. But it could still happen.

I am lypiphera I am the pain bearer. I can take it.

He called me delicate last night. I've never known someone that has understould me so well. That can see past my defensese and still care about the broken and hurting person that time doing my best to hide.

And he still loves me. After everything that i have done. He still loves me.