Seb

This is Sebastiaan, He.. he has been a huge part of my life for the last 2 years. I loved and still love him with everything i have.

I will explaine as maybe it will sort out my head getting all of this down.

Seb and I met on an online computer game called Runescape in November 2004. By January 2005 we were dateing. Only online, but i felt like i had known this man forever, he was so easy to talk to and didnt judge me at all. In Feb 2005 i was invited to his house in holland for a week, I was so excited i went and we met and it was amazing. (The first photo was taken then by his mum)

I felt that I had found my soul mate, and i belived that. I gave my self to him in everyway. I dont regret it at all. We managed to talk to each other almost everyday, and see each other about every 3-4 months for times as long as 3 weeks. In the july of 2005 i went to sebs for 3 weeks. then the following October for my birthday he came to england for 3 weeks.

In that year we got engaged and we brought promice rings, Faithfully promiceing our selfs to the other. I can not explaine how happy i was. I had found the man of my dreams and he loved and wanted to be with me.

When he was over in October i got accepted to work for Jagex the company that made the game we met on! We were both extactic and were soon making plans for my move. I moved down to Cambrige the day after Seb went back to holland. I loved working there and often smile to my self on my way to work as i was so happy.

Seb was having a hard time at home in Holland so i promiced him that on his birthday i would take him away from that place and keep him safe. Febuary comes around again, and i go over for Sebs birthday, He moved back to England with me the day after his birthday, and what comes next are the 3 happyest months of my life even tho two very big bad things happen.

I miss-carrie our 12 week old baby, and the week after that i lose my job, for a very pathetic reason. We try hard to make it work for the next month. But we both run out of money and we have to go back to our perents.

Things after that just go down hill.. I am still not sure why, but i belive that we both dealt with being apart diffently. Seb realised how much it took to run a house and a family. This scared him.

We broke up in October 2006, just a week after my birthday. The 5 months before hand had been hard on both of us. I tried to help him but it seemed what ever i did made things worse.

The reasons for Seb leaving me were that he couldnt provide for me. He still loves me, he just doesnt know if thats love like we had or love as a friend.

I'm not sure he will ever read this but I love him as much as i always have each day alittle more.

Its November now, and im back moved out on my own. Happy with my self, but missing just one part of mylife that i love dearly.

I felt that i had to get this out of me, its been pent up inside of me for a long time.

My friends dont understand why i love him anymore, not after the way i have been treated by him..

But they didnt see how great he was to me, how he looked after me and loved me when no one else would even look at me. Its not the big things he did, its the small things as well. I dont just love you Seb, Im in love with you. Your the one that makes me happy :)