Its been a while...

Coming back to my blog is a very odd thing. I wish so much that I have had time to write here as even in 3 weeks (ish) so much has happend to me.

Its 4.30am and im not asleep. Im normaly in bed by now atleast and passed out as its a tuesday night and i have to be at work in 4.5 hours.

But im not in my bed. Bob is. I'm worried about Bob alot. This is the coffee guy i have talked about him before. No were not having sex or kissing or anything like that. But i am telling him I love him. Because he needs to know he is loved. Let me start from the begining.

I wasnt ment to work a close tonight I was only ment to work till 12. But I ended up staying till 1am. It had been very busy and there was only two on a close (its hard enough on a quite night) I decided I wanted to go and have breakfast the next day before work. I supose as a little treat. I havent seen Bob in a while only talked via text. So I textd him asking if he wanted to meet up for breakie and he told me that once again he had no money and that he needed stern words. This confused me and I thought he ment that I had done something wrong.

By the time I got home I was exausted I had been talking to Richard as I walked home I had been feeling pretty blue all day for some reason and ended up crying on the phone to him. Bob texted me again saying he was pretty fucked and if he could pop over.

This worried me as i knew he had taken class A drugs at the weekend. Something I had told him off for.

He turns up about 5 min later and I know something isnt ok. We sit on my sofa and he starts to explaine. And crys. Bless him this boy is broken and hurtting so badly. I have known for a while something is wrong but Bob is the "strong" guy that always looks out for everyonee else and "doesnt" need looking after. I hug him lots and tell him that he is stopping over and that we will have brakefast in the morning (im not going to go over what is up setting him as thats bettween us) we get in to bed and talk alittle and he basically tells me that he cant talk to me about it because I havent "been though the same" and that i can compleatly understand. But I did point out that I didnt want to be that person, I wanted to be the person that he just talked at when he felt shit, the one that he'd always know would care about him and tell him he is loved. When i said that i love him (as a friend only i did point out) his whole body clentched and you could tell he was fighting back tears so i just let it drop. I told him once more that I loved him and hugged him tightly and rolled over so that he could get some sleep. Sleep that by his snoring he really needed :P

I know that all i can do is wait and just be there for him, and tell him that there is someone that cares.

As for the rest of my life.

Richard... im going down to his on monday and im very much looking forward to it even if im sleeping in his tent =D worried about Rich, he is having some magior heart and or cheast pains. Each time I hear him cry out in pain he just hangs up on me so that i cant hear him hurtting.

Weight. Not lost much. but not put any more on ^_^

Work, exausting but fun, and i got told that people knew i was working very hard.

Family. Lucy turned 16 on the 24th. and johns working hard. Mums been going to hospital alot lately. alittle worried. Dads tired and alice is as lovely abd bubbly as ever.

While im away Lucy is going to house sit for me and mums gonna clean the house >_<

Gonna go find something else to do. Wow is down so cant play that lol.